"There’s one thing people have to understand: Comics are not happy clowns. They are dark people, all of them, no matter how they grow up or what color they are. Anyone who has devoted his life to comedy and making people laugh wants to see that joy reflected back at him by rooms full of people because he’s never seen that kind of happiness anywhere else. Comedians are comedians because they need that laughter and joy; it fills a hole in them. Some of them will never get that hole filled either. For some comics, no amount of success and no amount of laughter is enough - that pain can never be relieved, that emptiness can never be satisfied."
— Tracy Morgan (from his new book ‘I Am The New Black)
"If I stay, there can be no party. I must be out there in the night, staying vigilant. Wherever a party needs to be saved, I’m there. Wherever there are masks, wherever there’s tomfoolery and joy, I’m there. But sometimes I’m not, because I’m out in the night, and I’m staying vigilant. Watching, lurking, running, jumping, hurdling, sleeping. No, I can’t sleep. You sleep. I’m awake, I don’t sleep, I don’t blink. Am I a bird? No, I’m a bat. I am Batman. Or am I? Yes, I am Batman. Happy Halloween."
—

Abed (Danny Pudi) - ‘Community’ Episode 1.07 - Introduction to Statistics

"Batman doesn’t get picked on because he’s a muscular genius."
— Jay Pritchett (Ed O’Neill) - ‘Modern Family’
"I grew up on a pig farm, sir, where all the animals — even the birds that cleaned our teeth — were workers, not pets. I never even had a dog, cause as my mom would say, ‘You can’t eat love.’ And as my mom’s friend Ron would say, ‘The donkey died. You’re the donkey now, Kenneth."
— Kenneth Parcell (Jack McBrayer) - ‘30 Rock’
"Me, never wanted kids - Don’t have the time, don’t have the uterus."
— Sue Sylvester (Jane Lynch) - ‘Glee’
"All the people who said ‘Brett Ratner is the Antichrist and I hope he dies a slow, painful death’ are all paying to go see my movie. I don’t mind that passion, and I don’t agree, but I love a person who’s passionate about a comic book character. You gotta give it up for that guy, ‘cause he’s got nothing else going on in his life.But he’s passionate about that, and that’s good. That’s important. I think that keeps people going."
—

- Brett Ratner

Reason #541 Why I love to hate Brett Ratner.

(via)

"God, I really wish I could go loose on this one. He’s like Napoleon and he wants to create this insane, infamous mad-man reputation. He wants to be like Hitler on his sets, and he is. So he’s a nightmare to work for but when you get him away from set, and he’s not in director mode, I kind of really enjoy his personality because he’s so awkward, so hopelessly awkward. He has no social skills at all. And it’s endearing to watch him."
—

Megan Fox

(via:movieline)

"Flavor Flav wears a giant clock around his neck so he’ll always know just how far back he set the Civil Rights movement."
— Triumph the insult comic dog
"

I’ve had a Tumblr account for years, but only recently reactivated it, having finally found a use of sorts for it. In the period I wasn’t paying attention, the Tumblr team have created a thing called Tumblarity: a number derived from your recent activity on your account. If you get a new follower, you get a certain number of tumblarity points. If you reblog something from another Tumblr user, your tumblarity goes up. And so on. If you leave your Tumblr unused for a while, your tumblarity starts to drop. The bigger your tumblarity number, the higher your Tumblr blog is ranked. It’s obviously just a bit of fun.

But now I see this number winking at me on the dashboard. And I start to realise how clever this is. It’s a Tamagotchi number. You log in, see your tumblarity’s dropped, and you can’t help but suddenly think “oh my god, my Tumblr’s dying.” There’s almost an urge to do something to feed it, to pipette precious drops of life-giving tumblarity into your Tumblr.

Until, obviously, one day you look at it and say, “ah, fuck it, let’s watch the little bastard die.”

"
— Comic book writer Warren Ellis on the new tumblr feature “Tumblarity” (via:warrenellis.com)
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Themed by: Hunson